onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
