The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
