the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
