she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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