It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He felt like a one man threesome
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
