I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
