i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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