Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
