let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
