quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
