Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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