As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize