you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
