that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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