you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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