I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
