i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
