i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
