North Korea, Best Korea!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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