Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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