Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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