I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
