Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
