if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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