why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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