Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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