I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
