someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
