apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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