Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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