im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
