wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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