i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
