to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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