Say something about gay babies.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize