If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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