You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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