i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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