Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
