They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
