Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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