she was so not down for the gang bang
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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