we're blogging at a bar
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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