I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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