Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
