Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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