put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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