i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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