Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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