Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
