Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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