My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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