Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
