Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you would pick up someone in the library
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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