this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
