lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
