So drunk its hurt
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize