i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
look no pants
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
