Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
