chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I have aggressive nipples.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
