The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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