they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
