There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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