My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
