wat bout pragnant strippers??
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
