I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
